Brighter Days

I'm feeling better about things. He finally called yesterday (the first time we've had a decent phone call in a minute). I don't know where to go from here but I do feel a tad more comfortable knowig that it's not me. It actually is him. I miss him though.... A lot. We'll see what happens.

Epiphany

I never thought I'd be writing this but I'm glad he came back into my life. He showed me that there are still some good, decent, straight and narrow men out there in the world and in Baltimore no less. It was definitely a valuable learning experience. I don't think I've ever felt so content with another person. He was everything I could have asked for in a man. Wait... why am I saying this like the man died?

He's loving, caring, affectionate, sweet, and I could go on. But what I love most about him is that he always treats me like his equal. Even though he is significantly older than I am he has never made me feel like a child. He looks at me as a grown woman. He aims to please in all aspects and I appreciate that.

I'm not sure if all is said and done as of yet, but if so, I'm not upset. I've come to terms with it. I understand. I truly enjoyed the time we shared and if I had to do it all over again, I wouldn't change a thing. I take that back, I would. I wouldn't have brushed him off the first time. Mr. B will always hold a special place in my heart.

It's so weird to me though because he reminds me so much of Daddy. I hope he finds what he's looking for in life and I wish him all the best.

Same Shit. Different day. Some days I'm up. Some days I'm down. Some days I feel like love him. Some days I feel like I don't. Love Sucks.

The L Word

I swear everytime I get close to telling this man off he comes correct. It's like I never know what to do. The last three weeks have been hard. At least now I know he recognizes it -- but that doesn't make it right. I wonder if he really told his brother he loves me? I knew he was fond of me but love? IDK... Things that he says or does let me know that he cares for me but he hasn't come out and said the L word yet. What is he waiting for? I've known for a while. He has to know by now.

Relieved...

I got my boo back. I guess he just needed some time to get himself together and sort some things out. Things are back to normal now...

Rough Patch

SO is having some family and personal problems and as a result we're going through a rough patch. We haven't been seeing much of each other lately and when we do he's not the same. He tries to smile and put on a happy face but I can tell he's not in the best spirits. Poor thing... I'm definitely missing the closeness we shared.

Paradise Eh?

My SO has not been himself lately. He says he's been having some family problems but we'll see. I hate that whenever he has s problem he shuts down and doesn't want to talk about it. He's such a man... It's like he crawls in a hole or something. Very strange. But what really gets me is that he expects me to do the opposite. Let me have a problem and he'll worry me to death asking what's wrong. Sometimes I just don't feel like being bothered. I can't win...

Spend Nothing Month

So I failed miserably at my challenge. I bought a pair of shoes during week 3. And then it went downhill from there. By the end of the month I ended up spending a little over $300 on clothing and/or accessories. Of course that's a lot better than May. I spent over three times that much. I guess overall the goal was to spend less money, which I did, but clearly cold turkey didn't work for me. I also had a lot of miscellaneous expenses this month with my mom's birthday and father's day falling on the same day, an unexpected baby shower the day before and joining a gym. I did manage to save some money though. Ahh well there's always July...