Damn I hate rough patches!!

Long story short - I fucked up. ROYALLY. And I don't even know if it was worth it. SO and I are being cordial via text message but we haven't had a conversation since we last saw each other on Sunday. Did I unconsciously sabotage my relationship? I keep going back and forth in my mind wondering if I've made a huge mistake. I wonder if I wouldn't have had anything to worry about had I not satisfied my curiosity. It's been four whole days and I still don't know the answer to those questions. I admit that I was wrong but I had my reasons. I even apologized (which says a lot because I DO NOT apologize) because I knew how he felt and didn't want him to be upset with me. Of course that didn't work. I don't even know if I should feel bad about it on the inside. I don't feel remorseful. Is that bad? I know he's feeling some kind of way right now hence the distance but at least we're speaking. We could be giving each other the silent treatment. Well more him giving me the silent treatment. But it's not like neither one of us hasn't been there before. Let's just hope this all blows over by the weekend. I miss him. And I'm sure he misses me too. I don't have time for this bullshit.

And to top it all off I've had the week from hell. Monday I started my week off wrong late to work. Something weird was going on with my exit off the highway. Tuesday my cycle came early like a bitch. This morning I was late to work AGAIN because I got a flat tire. That fucker is upset with me. Oh yeah let's not forget that something else was wrong with the car and I had to spend money to get it fixed over the weekend. I've been through hell with DELL trying to get this laptop finally back in working order. I should have the last piece of it in the mail in the next few days hopefully. Goodness! Still haven't found another part time job. Money is running through my fingers like water. It seems like Everytime I turn around it's something else.