Confessions of a Super Diva

24 Now...

2010-03-08T16:35:00.003-05:00

I swear whenever you have money and actually want to spend it there's nothing worth buying in the stores... SMDH. My birthday turned out wonderfully for once in my life. I received two bottles of perfume and money/gift cards for presents. Those who know me know you can't go wrong with any of those. As for being 24 now... I don't feel a day older than 23. Maybe 25 will be different?

Song of the Week - Feelin It

2010-03-01T10:10:00.001-05:00

I'm feelin it... Fill the glass to the top with Moet...

That's just how I'm feeling this week. Enjoy...

A case of the Mondays...

2010-03-01T09:59:00.001-05:00

I really hate Monday mornings. Thank goodness I don't belong anywhere on Monday mornings anymore. I'm pissed that I was awakened by a semi work related phone call but it's whatever. Time to get up and be productive... Or not. I'm off today and don't have class until 8 tonight. Guess I'll catch up on my reading.

Had a wonderful weekend with the Mister this weekend. Can't wait to see what he has in store for my bday on Weds... Toodles.

I decided...

2010-02-16T09:16:00.002-05:00

To reopen this blog. I haven't blogged in over a year. It's funny how I always go through these cycles. I blog steady for a while then I drop off. I've been blogging since I was 13 or 14 years old and it never fails. I scored a new digital camera (after I dropped my old one on the bathroom sink taking hair pics SMDH) so new pictures to come.

A lot of things have changed since my last blog. I left my full time job back in April. I've worked a few new part time jobs since then (the restaurant/bar industry is crazy) and have also returned to school. I'm a graduate student in a Masters in Criminal Justice program here in Baltimore. I thoroughly enjoyed working part time for a change and I typically make more money in tips than I was bringing home post taxes at the law firm. I'm enjoying my classes so far this semester even though we've only met a few time. Those two giant snow storms closed everything here for at least a week. I've never seen that much snow in my life. I swear we'll be looking at snow until March. That ish won't melt.

I hope everyone's Valentine's Day was wonderful. SO truly made me feel like a princess. He bought me jewelery too. Gotta love him. :) My birthday is two weeks from tommorrow so we'll see what he has in store for that. Be back with more updates. Toodles...

2009-02-08T18:57:00.001-05:00

I swear that man knows me like the back of his hand. LOL

Snow Day

2009-01-28T21:22:00.003-05:00

I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE finally having my computer back running the right way. It's like buying a new one. Just thought I'd share. I did absolutely nothing I was supposed to do to today. We're going to hope for some progress tommorrow. Shoot I'm secretly hoping for another snow day but I seriously doubt it'll happen...

ETA: I've decided to start keeping track of my natural hair progress over here as well in addition to my fotki so be on the lookout for those posts in the near future.

Random...

2009-01-26T20:48:00.002-05:00

I had the strangest dream this morning. I had a boat (in my driveway for some reason) and it got repossessed. What the hell was that about? I have no clue.

Mr. and Mrs. Obama

2009-01-25T21:48:00.006-05:00

I came across this picture of the two of them on the way to one of the balls... How cute is that?

Weekend Notes...

2009-01-24T21:21:00.002-05:00

SO and I spent most of the day and evening together yesterday and today. Strangely I think we're closer now that we were before. We texted each other at the same exact time today. That was pretty creepy. I got to see him work out in the gym yesterday and it was fun watching. Based on his Coach's comment upon meeting me, clearly SO has been chatting me up. Good things I hope. I wonder when he's going to fight in his next match. I'm praying that '09 will be a prosperous year for the both of us. We're on the right path to accomplishing our goals for this year, we just have to be sure to follow through. I'm excited to see what '09 will bring.

My President is Black...

2009-01-20T21:15:00.001-05:00

It's hard for me to put into words how I feel about Barack Obama being the President. I'll just sum it up by saying that I'm proud. I thoroughly enjoyed watching the Inauguaration and the balls on television. I think this was the first time I actually sat down and watched one. Probably was the first time I actually followed an election too. I've never felt connected to a candidate before. Change is finally here. It'll be interesting to see the impact he has on this country as it's leader.

Brighter Days...

2009-01-16T18:54:00.003-05:00

I had an interesting conversation with an acquaintance last night and I have to admit it caused me to reevaluate my social life (among other things). I had never really put any thought into why my social life had dwindled the past few years and quite honestly I didn't really care. I had been too busy trying to make moves and get money. So to that person - thanks for delivering that message. You've helped to change my outlook. I've decided to make an conscious effort to be more inviting and let people into my world. I'm up for making some new friends. Let's see where this takes me...

ETA: Oh yeah, me and the boo made up. Glad that blew over. :)

Damn I hate rough patches!!

2009-01-14T21:09:00.004-05:00

Long story short - I fucked up. ROYALLY. And I don't even know if it was worth it. SO and I are being cordial via text message but we haven't had a conversation since we last saw each other on Sunday. Did I unconsciously sabotage my relationship? I keep going back and forth in my mind wondering if I've made a huge mistake. I wonder if I wouldn't have had anything to worry about had I not satisfied my curiosity. It's been four whole days and I still don't know the answer to those questions. I admit that I was wrong but I had my reasons. I even apologized (which says a lot because I DO NOT apologize) because I knew how he felt and didn't want him to be upset with me. Of course that didn't work. I don't even know if I should feel bad about it on the inside. I don't feel remorseful. Is that bad? I know he's feeling some kind of way right now hence the distance but at least we're speaking. We could be giving each other the silent treatment. Well more him giving me the silent treatment. But it's not like neither one of us hasn't been there before. Let's just hope this all blows over by the weekend. I miss him. And I'm sure he misses me too. I don't have time for this bullshit.

And to top it all off I've had the week from hell. Monday I started my week off wrong late to work. Something weird was going on with my exit off the highway. Tuesday my cycle came early like a bitch. This morning I was late to work AGAIN because I got a flat tire. That fucker is upset with me. Oh yeah let's not forget that something else was wrong with the car and I had to spend money to get it fixed over the weekend. I've been through hell with DELL trying to get this laptop finally back in working order. I should have the last piece of it in the mail in the next few days hopefully. Goodness! Still haven't found another part time job. Money is running through my fingers like water. It seems like Everytime I turn around it's something else.

Winter White and then some....

2009-01-13T20:45:00.000-05:00

I've done a lot of shopping lately. Especially around the holidays. Check out some of my purchases...

I got a great deal on this coat from Victoria's Secret:

It was only $29.99. I always wanted a winter white coat. I haven't had one since I was in middle school. Can't wait for it to come so I can try it on.

Some other recent purchases:

GUESS by Marciano - Carrie in Dark Brown Leather

I really like these shoes. I didn't have just a plain brown pair of pumps. Love the 4" heel.

Forever 21 - Azul Rose Cropped Cardigan

For some reason this sweater gives me a granny/little old lady vibe but I like it.

Forever 21 - Strapless Trouser Jumpsuit

Love this jumpsuit! Just have to find somewhere to wear it.

I'll be back with more.

FINALLY!!

2009-01-13T20:40:00.000-05:00

I finally got my regular computer back in business. I used my old one for limited net surfing because it was just so slow. Anything else I did online at work and I certainly didn't want to blog at work. They might have a keylogger or something. I've been writing in a paper journal lately so maybe i will retype and enter those entries when I have some time. Glad to be back....

The Year in Review - 2008 Edition

2009-01-01T12:39:00.002-05:00

In all honesty, looking back on 2008 it wasn't half bad. 2007 was a beast with all it's ups and downs so that would make 2008 a bit of a breather. I found a steady full time job that I actually like. The job actually fell into my lap -- and I've been there for over 10 months now. No funny business or crazy rules this time. It's cool and laid back. It's close to home. I feel like I was put there for a reason.

My part time job took off this year. I started out working one night at the bar and ended up parlaying that into being a regular bartender 4 nights a week. The money was FABULOUS. Who would have ever thought that I would make almost double the money working part time than I do at my full time job? That job was another one that fell into my lap. You couldn't have planned the chain of events that led to that job if you tried.

I was sad when it came to an end with the bar closing but I met a lot of interesting people while working there. I formed relationships with the regular customers and we all grew to love each other like family. That place became a second home to me. I miss working there. That job allowed me to finally live comfortably - probably above comfortably for the first time in my working adult life. I wanted for nothing, It felt good knowing that I was able to totally support myself and should I ever need to get back out there and make some quick money, I'm definitely capable of doing it. I love bartending. It taught me to hustle and stay on the grind and I'm proud of myself for hanging in there. It wasn't an easy job. I worked hard for every tip I earned. Who would have ever thought Ms. Priss would be such a hard worker? Not even me hun.

Working at the bar also brought someone wonderful into my life. I know I've alluded to this before but I wonder if I was put there to meet him. Who would have ever thought that 2008 would have brought true love into my life? I wasn't looking or even thinking about dating. I met him the first night I worked, which was technically in 2007 but I brushed him off for a while. To be honest, I wasn't in the right frame of mind when we met. I wasn't ready to accept him and everything he had to offer into my life at that time. I was trying to get my life together. That was my main focus at the time.

He tried again once I had settled down and got my life back on track and we've been pretty much inseparable ever since. Don't get me wrong we've had our ups and our downs but things have mostly been on the up side. I've never been in a relationship with somebody that seems so effortless. When we're together it's like we're in sync. We get along so great. And that says a lot knowing how difficult I am. Even in all this time we've never had any MAJOR problems or arguments. I had to get on him about that crawling under a rock thing everytime he has to deal with a problem but that was pretty much it.

I will be honest and say that he definitely isn't the package I was expecting but it doesn't matter at this point. I'm happy overall. This time has definitely flown by. This is the longest I've ever continously dated one person in my dating life. I'm proud of myself for reaching that milestone and certainly without drama.

On another front, I always thought that B and I would end up together once his ex got out of the picture. Boy was I wrong. I always thought we were a perfect match but maybe not. Maybe it's not time? Who knows what the future holds? But I'm finally past dwelling on it. He certainly wasn't helping either. We did grow a lot closer during that time period and I'm greatful for that. He is still one of the best friends I've ever had. And probably always will be. He's one of the few friends that I go all the way back to childhood with. I know he's there for me if I need him and vice versa. Gotta love him. I still can't believe I poured my heart out to him behind this new chick only for it to turn out that I had my panties in a bunch for nothing. You live and you learn. I'm sure that has made our friendship stronger too.

I've grown closer to my family this year. I don't get as nauseous when it comes to family gatherings. I do wish we associated more with some of our extended family though. Holidays can get boring when it's just the 4 (or 5) of us. I'm thankful to have them in my life.

Looking back at 2008, I honestly feel like I accomplished something this year. That's a 100% more than I could say for 2007. I'm not where I want to be goal wise just yet but I have made some progress. I'm just going to continue to take things one day at a time. I definitely don't feel as lost anymore. I still don't know what my purpose is but I get the feeling I'm headed in the right direction.

I pray that 2009 will be a properous year for all of us and I look forward to the changes it brings. I brought in the New Year working (and getting money) so let's hope that sets the tone for the 09.

Stressed Enough...

2008-10-06T20:20:00.001-04:00

I don't believe he just called me asking for money. I told him going that if anything were to happen with my part time job, I wouldn't be able to take on those bills. So what part of that is he not getting? I haven't worked in three weekends. I'm already stressed out enough as it is....

2008-09-14T05:39:00.000-04:00

Great! This is all I needed.

I'mma be okay...

2008-09-12T19:15:00.003-04:00

I guess all good things must come to an end. Under the Bridge is closing. I was pissed when I found out because for one I found out from a patron and two, nobody told us until the last minute. We found out over the mic when the patrons did. How wrong is that? Not even warning enough to try to find something else. There is the possibility that I'll be staying but I don't know if I'd even want to. I get the feeling that there's going to be too much drama. But we'll see.

I'm going to start looking for another gig. If I made it on just bartending alone all those months I can swing it again. Especially now that I have the day job. I just better not fuck things up there. Maybe I can go back to Harbor Cruises. It was an easy job and I liked working there.

I met a lot of interesting people in the 10 months I worked there. It was refreshing to me to see all the regulars and to get to know people each week. It was truly fate that I found that job. I was just at the right place at the right time. And I had never went there I would have never met T. I met him the first night I filled in. Maybe it was meant for this chain of events to fall into place? Maybe it was supposed to happen this way for me to meet him? Maybe me bartending period happened so I could find him? Could it be? Maybe I'm reading too much into it. But he is truly one of the best things to happen to me in a long time. I guess if he's around for the long haul, I'll know for sure. I don't know what to do or where I'm going from here as far as bartending. I'm truly going to miss all the people and the place. It just won't be the same anymore. I guess at this point all I can do is pray for direction. Oh Lord what am I to do now?

32

2008-09-11T19:13:00.000-04:00

I took SO out for his bday Wednesday night and he was so cute. :) He acted like he was really excited. He really appreciated it and I'm glad he liked his cologne. I wonder how else he's going to thank me? ;)

2008-09-10T20:24:00.000-04:00

I was right. I got my sign.

Womp Womp

2008-08-26T19:12:00.000-04:00

On the other front, I'm a tad confused. This man friend is talking a good game... well his representative is, but I've yet to see a follow through in the month or so I've known him. We shall see.

Sunshine...

2008-08-26T19:09:00.001-04:00

Things are FINALLY back to normal. Forreal this time. And I couldn't be happier. I missed my sweetie so much. It feels so good just to be in his presence. I love just sharing his company... feeling his arms around me... to feel his hands touch my skin. I'm just glad to have him back. I've missed his conversation among other things. And of course the making up was beyond words. ;)

It's Official

2008-08-20T13:22:00.000-04:00

He loves me

Song of the Week

2008-08-18T18:59:00.001-04:00

Zhane - Sending My Love

"If I could, mail my heart right to you I would
I'd pack it up, seal it tight and I'd send it overnight."

This song is a bit of a throwback but it will forever be one of my favorites. Such soft beautiful lyrics. I LOVE this song. What happened to all that great hip hop/soul music from the mid 90's? Is it forever replaced by songs that lack substance and real lyrical content like "The Business" and "Bust It Baby"? *insert eye roll here* Whatever happened to Zhane anyway?

This can't be good...

2008-08-12T00:20:00.000-04:00

I've been talking to this man
He's been saying what I like and
He makes me smile
When I'm down... So Down
He says sweet things in my ear
All the things I've needed to hear
But that's as far as it's gone
I promise... I promise
But I enjoy it
I love it so
Cause it seems like I'm always alone
You're at arms reach
But baby, where are you?
Where are you?
Cause I've got this fire
Sweet and true
But I'm cold as ice around you
Cause I'm lonely
Whenever
You're around...

That's just how I'm feeling right now....

I fried my laptop :(

2008-08-07T16:15:00.000-04:00

Sorry I haven't been around much but I fried my laptop. :( I knocked a cup of juice over on it. I've been using my old one but it is truly a dinosaur. Sorry for the lack of entries....

More Recent Shoe Additions

2008-08-02T18:34:00.001-04:00

Bandolino Take It Up

Steve Madden Pascha

Steve Madden Mooch

Steve Madden Jannis

Steve Madden Leaza

Steve Madden Entice - Smoke

Steve Madden Entice - Clear

.....

2008-08-01T21:48:00.000-04:00

More confused than ever...

Brighter Days

2008-07-30T19:07:00.000-04:00

I'm feeling better about things. He finally called yesterday (the first time we've had a decent phone call in a minute). I don't know where to go from here but I do feel a tad more comfortable knowig that it's not me. It actually is him. I miss him though.... A lot. We'll see what happens.

Epiphany

2008-07-28T18:59:00.000-04:00

I never thought I'd be writing this but I'm glad he came back into my life. He showed me that there are still some good, decent, straight and narrow men out there in the world and in Baltimore no less. It was definitely a valuable learning experience. I don't think I've ever felt so content with another person. He was everything I could have asked for in a man. Wait... why am I saying this like the man died?

He's loving, caring, affectionate, sweet, and I could go on. But what I love most about him is that he always treats me like his equal. Even though he is significantly older than I am he has never made me feel like a child. He looks at me as a grown woman. He aims to please in all aspects and I appreciate that.

I'm not sure if all is said and done as of yet, but if so, I'm not upset. I've come to terms with it. I understand. I truly enjoyed the time we shared and if I had to do it all over again, I wouldn't change a thing. I take that back, I would. I wouldn't have brushed him off the first time. Mr. B will always hold a special place in my heart.

It's so weird to me though because he reminds me so much of Daddy. I hope he finds what he's looking for in life and I wish him all the best.

2008-07-25T23:22:00.000-04:00

Same Shit. Different day. Some days I'm up. Some days I'm down. Some days I feel like love him. Some days I feel like I don't. Love Sucks.

The L Word

2008-07-19T18:53:00.000-04:00

I swear everytime I get close to telling this man off he comes correct. It's like I never know what to do. The last three weeks have been hard. At least now I know he recognizes it -- but that doesn't make it right. I wonder if he really told his brother he loves me? I knew he was fond of me but love? IDK... Things that he says or does let me know that he cares for me but he hasn't come out and said the L word yet. What is he waiting for? I've known for a while. He has to know by now.

Relieved...

2008-07-12T11:24:00.000-04:00

I got my boo back. I guess he just needed some time to get himself together and sort some things out. Things are back to normal now...

Rough Patch

2008-07-08T21:53:00.000-04:00

SO is having some family and personal problems and as a result we're going through a rough patch. We haven't been seeing much of each other lately and when we do he's not the same. He tries to smile and put on a happy face but I can tell he's not in the best spirits. Poor thing... I'm definitely missing the closeness we shared.

Paradise Eh?

2008-07-01T23:47:00.002-04:00

My SO has not been himself lately. He says he's been having some family problems but we'll see. I hate that whenever he has s problem he shuts down and doesn't want to talk about it. He's such a man... It's like he crawls in a hole or something. Very strange. But what really gets me is that he expects me to do the opposite. Let me have a problem and he'll worry me to death asking what's wrong. Sometimes I just don't feel like being bothered. I can't win...

Spend Nothing Month

2008-07-01T23:40:00.004-04:00

So I failed miserably at my challenge. I bought a pair of shoes during week 3. And then it went downhill from there. By the end of the month I ended up spending a little over $300 on clothing and/or accessories. Of course that's a lot better than May. I spent over three times that much. I guess overall the goal was to spend less money, which I did, but clearly cold turkey didn't work for me. I also had a lot of miscellaneous expenses this month with my mom's birthday and father's day falling on the same day, an unexpected baby shower the day before and joining a gym. I did manage to save some money though. Ahh well there's always July...

New Jack Swing!

2008-06-28T15:27:00.003-04:00

Am I the only person who absolutely loved this era in music? I was a child during that time but the music has stuck with me over the years. Many of those songs are still in heavy rotation on my computer and Ipod. I miss when music was fun but yet still had some substance. I love watching the dancing and the clothes in the videos. The music out now is just a hot mess. What era are we in now? Lord....

Currently Listening: Bobby Brown - Don't Be Cruel

Busy Busy Busy....

2008-06-14T12:30:00.000-04:00

I've been so busy! I feel like I've been running around like a chicken with it's head cut off. I quit one of my bartending gigs so hopefully things will slow down for me. I've been staying real tired lately. We'll see how it goes. I'm thinking about joining my coworkers gym though. I need to drop a few pounds. Since I have more free time now, I guess I could fill it with working out. Not much else to share... Toodles...

Why I Blog....

2008-06-11T17:31:00.000-04:00

Quite a few people have sent me messages asking why I blog or decided to start a blog so I figured I’d explain. For one, a lot of people may not know this but I didn’t decide to start a blog because it’s the new cool thing to do. I’ve actually been maintaining a blog online for years now. Since I was 13 or 14. Of course those blogs were not at this url as I’ve hosted it in multiple places over the years, but at least two of them, to my knowledge are still out there for the world wide web to read. If you can find them, feel free to read my thoughts from when I was a teenager as well as when I was in college.

But anyway, for me, blogging was a means of release much like a diary is to a teenaged girl. It was my diary only I didn’t write it out by hand in a book. I typed it on my computer, which made more since btw because I was always on it, and it’s quicker for me to type something then to write it out by hand. I like being able to look back at old entries and seeing what I was thinking in a different frame of mind; when I was a different person at a different stage in my life.

Also, from each blog my format and the types of entries I typed changed. When I was a teenager it was a lot of mindless babble about things that were important to me at the time, mostly school events, friends, when I was mad at my mother, etc. When I was in college, I went through a lot of changes and the entries were more contemplative than anything. They were also pretty long because they involved a lot of personal thoughts, reasoning and my accounts of things that happened. This layout isn’t really conducive to typing long entries. They would fill up the entire first page which is why I’ve kept them pretty short and sweet.

Also most of my entries here are pretty superficial meaning they’re just random thoughts off the top of my head, nothing I’ve thought long and hard about. Nothing too personal. I wish blogger had the feature like livejournal where you could post an entry to your blog but you could lock it and make it personal or only allow certain viewers on your list to see it. I like to see all my entries together. Blogger makes you make a separate blog and lock the whole thing. But I like bloggers layout better than livejournal even though it doesn’t give me the space for long entries like LJ. Ahhh well… Thanks for stopping by and reading my thoughts. Hope to read yours in the future. Toodles…

What is with this obsession with stripper classes?

2008-06-08T13:06:00.005-04:00

I mean strip aerobics, pole dancing classes, etc. People talk about, look down on and condemn strippers and/or hoes because they do not think it's respectable but now want to learn how and are actually paying money to learn their techniques. What? That makes no sense. People want to learn how to be a stripper but not actually be one?

I mean I have no issues with strippers. Sure I wouldn't do it because I do not think it's a respectable profession. However, neither is selling drugs or anything else. And stripping isn't illegal. But anyway, if that's the profession you choose (or maybe you didn't have another choice but that's a whole other can of worms I won't get into) then do you. Who am I to judge? We all do things that someone else is going to deem undesirable. But you can't live your life to please other people.

But I really don't understand the fascination with stripper techniques. That's like the whole notion of everybody wanting to be black but not really. At least not when the cops come anyway.

Spend Nothing Month

2008-06-05T23:25:00.001-04:00

I'm on a personal spend nothing challenge for the month of June. I made a ridiculous amount of money in tips last month and I blew through just about all of it. I sat there with my little spreadsheet and tallied up how much money I had spent in each expense category and I suddenly felt ill. I felt like I ought to be ashamed of myself. But I didn't even realize it when I was spending because it was like $30 here, $50 there and so on. Those little amounts add up. Last weekend I had my last hurrah and got it all out of my system on the 31st.

So no more shopping or spending unneccesarily this month. It's just hard because I usually just see something I like and if I have the money (or want to spend it rather) I buy it and that's that. There are quite a few things that I've seen or thought about buying but I can't so I'm anxious for the end of the month to come so I can get them. I'm hoping that since I had to wait so long I will have forgotten about the item or won't even want it anymore. So far so good. I didn't buy anything this week. I did return a dress that I bought last weekend and ended up getting a pair of shoes instead but that doesn't count since it was an exhange.

I'm curious to see how much extra money I'll be able to save over the course of the month. Maybe if I do well, I'll be able to keep it up and pay all my cc's off earlier than December as I planned... Wish me luck!

Currently Listening: Usher - Here I Stand

Men Irk Me....

2008-06-01T00:16:00.000-04:00

I am not a mind reader!!! That will be all...

Recent Additions...

2008-05-31T23:06:00.003-04:00

I bought these today. I also bought a few other pairs. I'll post pictures later.

Nine West Heech

Letting Go...

2008-05-27T21:44:00.002-04:00

And another one bites the dust. All because I spoke my mind and told the truth. The past few years my gfs have just been dropping like flies. I'm just tired of BS and I'm finding that as time goes on we have less in common. Just because we were in the same place a few years ago doesn't necessarily mean that we're in the same place now. I still love them all dearly but I just can't be bothered anymore. I'm trying to get my priorities in line and I already have enough of my own issues to be worried about.

Mmm.... So surreal...

2008-05-25T06:57:00.002-04:00

That's how I'm feeling right now. I spent most of the day with my sweetie yesterday. He keeps trying to get me to meet his fam though. I'm not even sure how I feel about that. We went past his moms/grandmoms house yesterday but I stayed in the car while he went in for a few minutes. Whew I got out of that one. They were in the process of moving anyway so I doubt it would be a good time. I wouldn't want people to visit my house while it was half boxed up. We did go to his cousin's house for a while though. They were watching tv, playing cards, eating, etc. We stayed for a little while. Introductions are always so awkward but I was alright. Better than I thought I would be with it. I wonder if they think I'm snotty?

I'm actually off this weekend and don't know what to do with myself. He has to work. :( I've been up since 4:30 but I'm still laying in my bed as I'm typing this. How did I ever live without wireless service on my laptop in this house? Didn't know what I was missing... I'm going to the wine festival with my bestie today. I can't wait!

Feeling Better...

2008-05-19T00:54:00.007-04:00

I had a great weekend. I made a ton of $$$, spent some time with my sweetie and did some shopping. Looking forward to a great week...

I spoke to my high school sweetheart recently. It's been over a year and a half since we completely severed ties and I'm confident in saying that I'm finally over him. Sure he took me through some ups and serious downs but looking back now I don't regret it. I remember at a point feeling like part of me wanted him to be happy but as long as it wasn't with her. Or anybody else that I didn't like. Ideally I still wouldn't want it to be with her even though it seems like the logical thing to do at this point. But if it came to that, I'd understand. I do want him to be happy and be with someone who can give him everything he needs. Overall, he was good to me so I know he's capable of giving that to someone he deems deserving.

We both made a lot of mistakes and I learned a lot from that whole experience. But on the flip side, I don't think he's completely over me. And he probably never will be. I get the slightest inkling that he still hopes that one day we'll get back together. But not in this lifetime. I'm not going to be able to do it. Nor would I want to. I'll always love him and hold a special place for him in my heart but he and I could never be. Now that we're adults were in two different times and two different spaces with two different sets of priorities and goals. It just wouldn't work. I could be wrong in assuming that but I don't think so. Why else would he be trying to keep tabs on me or dropping hints? Guess I'll never truly know the answer to that question...

Currently Listening: LTD - Love Ballad

On a random note...

2008-05-18T20:10:00.000-04:00

Have you ever heard a song and felt like it just took you back in time? Or more specifically back to a particular moment in time? It usually happens to me with older songs. Not so much with the current music (probably because most of it is crap anyway). But it's just amazing to me how certain songs can make me feel certain ways about certain things first of all. And then when I hear them again years later I relive that feeling all over again. Especially when it's one of my favorite songs. Memories can be so sweet...

Having an I hate my life day...

2008-05-13T19:48:00.004-04:00

Mainly because the two year anniversary of my graduation is coming up and I feel like I haven't accomplished anything since. I have nothing to show for those 2 years and it's extremely frustrating. I miss school... I miss books... I miss intelligent conversation... I miss debating... I feel like all I do is eat, sleep and work with no time to do anything interesting in between. Then I wake up the next day and do it all over again. Working full time is still taking some time to adjust. My life is certainly not where I thought it would be right now. I'm just going to have to bust my ass this summer to pay these few bills off and start '09 on a fresh note. I hope and pray that I do....

101 Goals in 1001 Days...

2008-05-11T16:50:00.000-04:00

I ran across this on one of the message boards I frequent a while back and I thought it was something fun to do. It took me a while to generate my list but it's finally complete and I've started on it. I've even accomplished a few goals in the meantime. Check out the official website here: http://www.101goalsin1001days.com

Song of the Week - Ne-yo - Closer

2008-05-10T19:52:00.001-04:00

I really love this song. I really love his lyrics and style. I'm so excited that Ne-yo is bringing us new music next month. Even though I was a little disappointed with the Because of You album (I didn't like it as much as In My Own Words) but I'm still excited to hear the new material. After I first listen to a new album, I feel anxious to hear mroe new material. Ne-yo's songs always hit a chord with me. It's like I want to listen to them on repeat all day long. I felt that way when I first heard Mario's - Let Me Love You, only at the time I didn't know Ne-Yo wrote it. Then when I heard Stay I felt the same way. Stay reminded me of how I felt about Let Me Love You and once I heard Ne-yo say he wrote it in a radio interview I was pretty much sold on him after that...

Growth and Development

2008-05-05T23:13:00.007-04:00

I've been on the fence the last few weeks about some friend issues. I've been out of college almost 2 years now and my girlfriend circle has slowly diminished for various reasons. One being that I felt the relationships were not genuine. I got tired of hanging onto one sided relationships and phony people. Sure sometimes I miss them, but I'm alright. I just feel like I'm outgrowing my friends. The goals, interests and common ground we once shared are no more and I'm not totally sure why. You would think that with all of us graduating and entering the world of working adults that we'd have the same priorities but I guess not. Some people are more interested in partying than their newfound obligations as a working adult. I don't quite understand it but to each his own. Has anybody else outgrown a friend?

Song of the Week: Alicia Keys - Teenage Love Affair

2008-05-03T14:44:00.004-04:00

I love this song! Oh boy I remember that feeling! lol It's funny because the first time I listened to the album I was kind of ehhh about it. After revisiting it a few times it grew on me. The School Daze theme in the video is cute too.

Running on E....

2008-04-28T18:48:00.002-04:00

I've been so tired lately hence the lack of posts. I worked 14 days straight then went to Miami for a split second (which was a blast by the way). I wish I could have stayed a little longer though. Maybe I'll try to go back at the end of the summer.

10 Sunny Ways to Make Your Day a Good One

2008-04-12T09:30:00.000-04:00

I received this in an email and I thought I'd share:

Ten Sunny Ways to Make Your Day a Good One!

A good day is when I wake up remembering that a good day happens by CHOICE not chance!

A good day is when I live the day in the present, being grateful for the little things in life.

A good day is a day that I look back on and smile, because I allowed myself to be open to something new without realizing it at the time.

A good day is when I can feel anger, pain, sadness, etc. but not let it take over.

A good day is when I relax and go with the flow.

A good day is drama free. (My choice, again.)

A good day is when I'm aware that I'm a kind and compassionate person and treat myself that way.

A good day is when I don't use excuses to paralyze my thoughts and dreams or allow fear to keep me from stepping out and doing something I believe in.

A good day is connecting with people who are on the same self exploration journey as I am.

A good day is the realization that EVERY DAY IS A GOOD DAY no matter what happens!

It's Saturday........

2008-04-12T08:49:00.004-04:00

The weather has finally broken. I'm so excited! I've come to the realization that my tastes are changing once again. I feel like I go through this cycle every few years. I remember having this convo with one of my gfs in her dorm room maybe 3 or 4 years ago. I'm more into natural simple looks and classic clothing/accessories. I'm not really into brights and a lot of makeup (especially the colored eyeshadow unless I'm going out) anymore. It's not that I don't like those things anymore it's just a matter of not having the time to go through all that in the mornings.

I can't believe I'm up this early. I was dead tired when I got home last night. Work was slow so I left around maybe 11:30 or so. It doesn't really make a difference to me as long as I come home with some money. I guess I should get up and get dressed. Gotta run my errands before this afternoon since I have to be to work at 8. Holla...

Date #3

2008-04-09T07:06:00.003-04:00

Well we went out to dinner again last night. It was a spur of the moment thing so it may not really be date #3 but whatever. I'm surprised it's gone this far. The last guy I went out with stopped calling a few weeks after Date #2. Never did find out why that was. Maybe he didn't want to spring for a v-day gift? His loss... But dinner was alright. He's starting to get clingy. I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing right now. Still in limbo... Gotta get dressed for work. Toodles...

Busy Weekend...

2008-04-06T23:25:00.004-04:00

They always say that you get the most done when you stay on the move... I never quite understood that saying but now I get it. I am accomplishing more being out and about then I was sitting in the house most evenings. I really want to pick my dance class back up but I don't know if I'd be able to swing it. I've been staying really tired lately.

B's birthday is today. He's still on his trip and won't be back until the weekend. I stopped past thursday to drop his present off. We ended up hanging out and going out to dinner. Oh how I wish things would just fall into place with him. IDK what the problem is. He loves me, I love him -- we get along, we talk and see each other all the time... so what gives?!?!? Maybe he's just enjoying the single life? I mean it is the first time he's been single in like 4 years. I guess I can't blame him for enjoying his freedom. I just can't help but wonder what he's thinking sometimes...

I had another date Saturday with T. We went to Dave and Buster's and had a lot of fun. I think he's starting to grow on me. I wasn't so sure about him at first. It's not that I don't like him, it's just that... well I don't know. I guess he just wasn't my cup of tea at first. He's a bit older than me but I never would have guessed that from looking at him. He's a nice guy. He's very sweet. He hasn't done anything to make me dislike him at this point, but I just don't know about us. Or even him for that matter. I hope he isn't looking to settle down anytime soon. I don't think I can handle another one of those relationships. Not right now anyway...

Randomness Part 1....

2008-04-01T19:48:00.005-04:00

This is probably going to be the most random post ever but it's all good. Not much going on here but I do have to say that the weather this afternoon was absolutely divine. It rained all morning and then the sun came out. It was 70 degrees this afternoon. I can't wait until the weather breaks for good. I have some cute new spring stuff I can't wait to wear.

Work is well work... It turns out our office is not moving down to the 3rd floor in May like we planned. We're going to be moving to a whole new site now. I'm not feeling it because now I'll have to get on the highway to go to work. It's a little further away so BOO.

I so miss my hair. I can't wait to get it straightened and trimmed on the 15th. That'll mark 2 years since my last relaxer. Hopefully I will have made a decent amount of progress with my natural hair. Getting over this shoulder length hump is taking longer than I expected. I love my hair though. I'm looking forward to wash and go's in the summertime. I think I want to get it highlighted again. My highlights from September have pretty much grown out. They're only at the very ends of my hair.

Ah well... I'm off to detangle, wash and deep condition. Toodles...

And now back to your regularly scheduled programming...

2008-03-25T23:15:00.001-04:00

I've really been neglecting this blog. To be honest, I totally forgot about it. I'm going to do better. Since I've been working full time, I've had less time on my hands. I do like the job though. At least so far. Hopefully that won't change with time...

Oh how I hate first dates....

2008-03-23T12:34:00.000-04:00

So I met this guy... wait why do I always want to start a post with "so"? Anyway... I met this guy a while back in like October or November. Matter of fact it was my first night bartending. He waited until the end of the night when I was cleaning up to approach me. He seemed nice enough. He asked for my number and I gave it to him. We talked on the phone a bit but it got to the point for me where I didn't feel like being bothered. It seemed like that was all he wanted to do. I was in the process of trying to get my life sorted out and I didn't have time to be sitting on the phone for multiple hours at night. A girlie's got better things to do. Well anyway, he would call every once in a while and sometimes I would pick up, sometimes I wouldn't. It seemed like he would always call when I was busy or doing something. We finally got back in contact on a regular basis and finally went on a date.

I really hate first dates. They're just so awkward. We went to lunch and then a movie since I thought I had to work that night. I ended up being off since it was slow so we hung out for the rest of the day. I think it went pretty well. He's a nice guy. A tad shorter than I like. He's a bit older than me too but we'll see how it goes. I'm just not sure if I like him like that or not. I hate the fact that I'm so picky but I really can't help it. That's just my nature. I just don't want my pickiness to make me miss out on some great guys. I felt like that about one of my past SO's but he grew on me... I guess only time will tell. Oh yeah and HAPPY EASTER.

Some Recent Additions...

2008-03-19T18:19:00.001-04:00

I've been on a shoe kick lately. Both pairs are BCBGirls... I bought the boots in Grey. For some reason this picture makes them look cheesy but they look good in person. I saw a girl with the grey ones on in person and I had to track them down. The second shoe I also tracked down and managed to get nearly 50% off. Hooray for bargain shopping!

BEAUTY FIND: MAC Mineralize Skin Finish Natural

2008-03-15T19:24:00.001-04:00

I am absolutely in love with this powder. It totally knocked my Sheer Select Loose Powder out of the box. I've stopped wearing my foundation on weekdays to wear just this powder with a little concealer. It goes on easily with a few swipes of a brush. It looks very natural on my skin.

I also tried the Mineralize foundation as a replacement for their Hyper Real Foundation (I'm still upset about them discontinuing that. BOO!) and it's alright. I do like the coverage and it looks natural. But it's no Hyper Real though. It doesn't give me the same healthy glow the Hyper Real did. So I'm still on a quest for that perfect foundation.

RATING: 5 out of 5 Stars

The Wire is no more

2008-03-09T23:53:00.005-04:00

The Wire was finally put to bed tonight. I've been a faithful watcher since Episode one in 2002 and honestly, I'm sad to see it go. It was truly one of the best shows on television and not just because it was about my hometown. The Wire was more than just a police show. With most police shows they paint the police as the good guys and the criminals as the bad guys. That's all you get. It showed us that those categories are not as black and white as we would like to believe them to be. It showed us that no avenue is exempt from corruption. From the criminals, to the police department, to the government, to the school system and on down to the media.

It was exciting for me to see my city on television. The show gave the country a little slice of the hometown I've grown to love. Before The Wire, many people probably would have never even thought about Baltimore. This city isn't really known for much. I mean not that we want to be known for the drug trade and violence but it is what it is. It's always really been a city that people passed through on their way to or from other cities. It was exciting for me to see scenes on the show that I caught being filmed while I was working downtown in the courthouse. Or to see the building where I worked on television. Call me a dork but it was exciting to me. lol I hated that they blocked off our area while filming though. It was a pain in the ass when it came time to go home at 5:00.

The Wire kept it real... From the characters, to the storylines, to the dialogue, it was all real. Many of those characters I feel like I know them in real life. I know somebody who is a Bubs or a Kima or a Bodie and on down the line. This reminds me of a conversation in my Criminal Investigation class in undergrad. My teacher mentioned that The Wire is the most real television show about our field. He mentioned that The Wire is actually a little too real because it gave away too much information. It revealed a lot about police tactics and undercover work and criminals watching the show picked up on that.

I wasn't totally happy with the way that the show ended (as far as some of the characters fates went); however, I do think that they did a good job of summing up all 5 seasons. There are rumors of some spinoffs and possibly a movie (which would be a prequel since many of the characters are dead now) for the future. But I guess we'll just have to wait and see. I hope this show opened peoples eyes to what's really going on in the urban cities across this country. There are people who live the lives we saw on The Wire every day. Usually not by choice but out of neccesity. If America is supposed to be such a great country, there is no excuse for it. Things need to change. There is definitely a better way.

22 Already?

2008-03-04T18:40:00.000-05:00

My birthday was yesterday and I'm sad that it's gone. It was my last day of freedom since I started the new job today. I didn't even do much celebrating because I was sick all weekend. And on top of being sick I had to work. B surprised me and took me out to dinner last night though. He's such a sweetheart. Ahh well there's always the weekend...

Working Girl

2008-02-18T15:45:00.003-05:00

Well it's back to working a 9 to 5 for me in two weeks. A job fell into my lap and I start the day after my birthday. This was the first interview I've had since leaving my job in October and I landed it on the spot. I had no choice but to take it.

I've enjoyed solely bartending these past few months but I feel like I have too much free time on my hands. Outside of sleeping, eating and bartending I haven't really done much else. And I've probably done way too much eating and sleeping. LOL

I do have to admit it was nice to have a break from the hustle and bustle of the working world for a little while. There were no office politics or early mornings. No hunting for something to wear or rushing to be there in time. Ahh well guess I have to give it all up. The job is nearby though so it won't be so bad.

A Little Bit of this... A Little Bit of That...

2008-02-07T22:30:00.000-05:00

It's February now and I'm so dreading Singles Awareness Day on the 14th. It always seems like I'm single on Valentine's Day. I'll be working that night anyway so I guess it doesn't really matter. My BFF and I agreed to exchange presents. Gotta love her...

I met Sonja Sohn...

2008-01-18T13:34:00.002-05:00

Or Kima Greggs from The Wire. She came into my job last night to check the place out when we first opened. She hung out for a little while. She was very nice. She's a lot more petite than I thought though. And her hair and skin are gorgeous. Apparently she lives here in town. I'm guessing she moved here for the time being to film the show.

I actually spoke to her instead of stammering like a damn fool when I met Method Man while he was filming here over the summer. Maybe it was because she's not that big of a celeb. That and she was a woman and certainly not as fine as that Meth. He looked totally delicious. I wanted to melt when he winked at me LOL Ah well... It sucks that the show is ending though.

The Wire...

2008-01-14T21:54:00.001-05:00

I'm so excited that The Wire is back on television. It's one of my favorite shows. And not just because it's about my home town. However, I do have to admit it is interesting to see places that I recognize on the show. I'll be sad when this final season ends. I've been a faithful watcher since episode 1 in 2002. A lot of my favorite characters have been killed off but it's still good tv.

BEAUTY FIND: Carol's Daughter Almond Cookie Gift Set

2008-01-06T00:21:00.000-05:00

I received this gift set as a Christmas present from my roommate and I must say that it is great. I've had my eye on this scent since giving it to my mom as a Mother's Day present. I just hadn't gotten around to purchasing it for myself. The smell is absolutely heavenly. The products are thick and creamy. They kept my skin supple and moisturized all day. My only gripe (well in addition to the price) about the creams (like the Shea Souffle and Body Lotion) is that since they both contain oils, they can leave grease spots on clothing.

RATING: 4 out of 5

And a Happy New Year...

2008-01-01T15:15:00.000-05:00

I had a great time bringing in the new year. For the past 2 years in a row, I've gone out with my best friend. Whether we did something fun or not, we were together. This year made year 3 in a row. We went to a club, had some food and drinks, and danced our little hearts out. I was so hell bent on finding something to do this year since it would be the first time I'd ever been out to celebrate on New Years Eve. This was also my first year being 21 so I finally had some decent celebration options. I probably spent too much money, but in the end it was worth it.

Christmas was well...

2007-12-27T23:29:00.000-05:00

GREAT. I can honestly say that 2007 was not a good year for me. I could probably even extend that statement to the rest of my family. We went through a lot of changes. We experienced a lot of ups and downs. I'm usually excited about Christmas. I was definitely excited about getting my first tree and decorating it. But I've found that the older I get, the less excited I am about the holiday. I'm hoping that will change when I have kids of my own.

I'd have to say that I was pleasantly surprised once the holiday did come and go. I received some great presents from my friends and fam. I wasn't expecting anything so it felt good seeing how much other people care. One of my guy friends even surprised me with a great present. I wasn't even expecting a present from him.

Everybody liked the gifts I bought them as well. My roommate and I accidentally bought both my father and brother the same thing though. We didn't realize it until we were sitting at the table Christmas Eve opening presents. It was kind of funny. I guess great minds do think alike. I hope everybody had a wonderful holiday and best wishes in the New Year.

Recent Additions...

2007-12-21T03:31:00.000-05:00

I was able to get in some serious shopping (for myself of course ;) ) in during the Christmas sales. Check out some of the latest additions to my wardrobe:

NW SARNO in Dark Pink Satin - These were a great steal at $25.

BCBGirls ZABRINA in Navy Blue - These were also a great steal. I got them for $50 which was half off.

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas...

2007-12-06T11:45:00.000-05:00

I can't believe this year is already coming to a close. The time has gone so fast. But on the flip side, I'm excited about Christmas! This year I'm getting my first Christmas tree and I can't wait to put it up. I decided to do it up diva style and decorate my tree with all pink ornaments. I even found some great lights that look like pearls. Thanks Target! I'll be sure to post a picture once I get it up and decorated this weekend.

ETA: A picture of the tree as promised. Do you see the pink "Diva" ornament?

Welcome!

2007-12-06T11:05:00.000-05:00

I decided to start a new blog. Less about my drama and more about what like and what I'm thinking at the moment. Check back soon for updates! Enjoy!